4 Things to Remember When You’re On the Edge
I can honestly tell you this: you are not alone. Over the past two years, I have had some major events in my life that have not only tested my emotions and thoughts, but also tested everything I believe in and the will to keep pushing through those events. By the grace of God and a great support system, I have come out of all of those circumstances a much stronger person… or so I thought.
Every now and then, a little something from each of those events creeps back into my life and thoughts. I feel the weight of things that happened in the past all over again. I feel the wounds they have left behind- in my mind and the inner most parts of my being.
It is usually then that I find myself right on the edge of keeping it all together…
I feel like I’m about to have a good old fashion freak-out moment.
1. Normal – The definition of “normal” is up for interpretation. What I have learned is that my feelings and my reactions are absolutely normal. I am not weird for feeling upset or wanting to cry about past traumatic events. Neither are you.
2. Time – they say time heals all wounds. Not really. It may be a nice cliché, but in real life it takes intentional work to heal through the pain. This is what heals the wounds and grows us. If the pain isn’t dealt with and merely buried in “time” (denial), it will one day rip that scab off with the same intensity as it did 30 years ago. Scars will always be there, but I know with the Lord working in me as I do the work of healing and the buffer of time- this allows us to become stronger. One step at a time. One day at a time. It must be a conscious choice we make every day.
3. A Support System – they say that you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. If you’re not close with your family, you must still have a support system in place. Usually our parents have gone through something in the course of their lives. They can offer advice or just be there to listen. Be wise about this- choose people who are safe, honest and have your best interest at heart.
4. God – they say to just lean on God in the hard times. It’s so easy to say, harder to do. What I have learned is this: God deeply cares for me and feels the overwhelming emotions with me. When I question God on why bad things happen to good people, He doesn’t get mad at me. He tells me that evil things are not His plan- His plan is for our good. His plan is for all of us to live in eternity with him. But there is a darkness in this world and that darkness (our enemy- Satan) is the cause of those bad things happening to good people.
The bottom line?
When I am sometimes on the edge, God can work in my life if I allow him to. God wants what is best for us, and sometimes being on the edge is just where he wants us. No pain is wasted in the hands of our Savior. He desires to grow us through it. He wants us to reach out and grab his hand, so he can pull us into his loving arms.
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Patience- When You Think You Can’t Wait
Ever notice how effective that is?
Situations of life that expose our lack of patience can be as varied as life itself. Just when we think we’ve learned to be patient with one thing, we’re taken by surprise with another… and right back to impatience.
Here’s one thing I’m grateful for: on the subject of Patience, the Bible is full of stories of situations as varied as life itself. It really helps to look at how other people deal – or don’t deal – with impatience so we can get a better grip on our own situations. Our Children’s Pastor and I often work together to bring the subjects we talk about into the forefront for the entire family. The hope is that if both parents and kids are working on it at the same time, then perhaps the entire family benefits more…grows more.
To review, we’ve given a very simple definition for Patience and a memory verse to make it easy and practical.
Patience is “Waiting until later for what you want now.”
“Wait for the Lord. Be strong and don’t lose hope. Wait for the Lord.”
Here are some of the Biblical stories that we covered and the Bottom Line for each:
- Hannah Prays for a Baby
- Hannah prayed out of her deep anguish and found God’s Peace. Remember, God doesn’t grant Patience, but He does grant Peace.
Found in 1 Samuel 1:9 – 2:1
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, tell God about it.
- Hannah prayed out of her deep anguish and found God’s Peace. Remember, God doesn’t grant Patience, but He does grant Peace.
- The Golden Calf:
- They were blinded by their own sight. Remember, insecurity gropes for something physical-tangible, which can often result in a dismissal of God’s help in order to make room for your own frantic solution.
Found in Exodus 32:1 – 35
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, don’t forget what’s true.
- They were blinded by their own sight. Remember, insecurity gropes for something physical-tangible, which can often result in a dismissal of God’s help in order to make room for your own frantic solution.
- Esau’s Birthright:
- Esau was consumed with the urgency of his own hunger. Remember, yielding to immediate and overwhelming desire nearly always leads to tragic loss.
Found in Genesis 25:24 – 34
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, think twice.
- Esau was consumed with the urgency of his own hunger. Remember, yielding to immediate and overwhelming desire nearly always leads to tragic loss.
- Solomon’s Wise Words:
- Arresting your immediate frustration gives you greater clarity of mind. Remember, long-term unresolved anger always becomes bitterness…unresolved bitterness often becomes despair and depression. Found in Proverbs 14:29 – 30
“He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion (unbridled emotion) is rottenness to the bones.”
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, don’t lose your cool.
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Practice Doesn’t Get Us to Perfect, But Makes Us Better
Personally, when I am faced with injustice- just plain old someone being mean, or unrealistic deadlines that start to build my stress level- I do a couple of things.
First, I Consider the Source
Generally, the people driving me crazy are not drawing from the same source that I do. How do I know this? From the fruits they display.
Galatians 5:22-23 speaks of the Fruit of the Spirit being love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Yes it happens! I am thankful the Holy Spirt convicts me to the point of an apology and eventually changed behavior. Again, this is developed over time with practice, as God allows opportunities. Sad to say, it doesn’t happen in each of us automatically (wouldn’t that be so much easier!), but does get better as we choose to respond to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:11-12:
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and say all sorts of false evil against you because of me, rejoice and be glad for great is your reward in Heaven.
It’s helpful to remember that Jesus tells us this injustice will happen when we are living in and for Him. Remembering who I am in Christ and the knowledge that I have all of eternity to look forward to helps me to stay focused and remember what is next!
Practice doesn’t get us to perfect, but in the long run, makes us better. We have much to be thankful for because God’s promises are true. This should drive our behavior. Does it drive yours?
This may not be all that helpful (even to some Christians since in my opinion there is a real lack of understanding on what eternity will be like) to some. Considering this, how can one look forward to eternity if one doesn’t know what it is? Another blog for another time! No one knows for sure what eternity will be like, but God does tell us in His Word a lot about this and it will be terrific for those who have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior! Revelation Chapter 21 is the culmination of this. Halleluiah and Amen!
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Lessons in the Rearview Mirror
Not so fast. God had something to say.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Sometimes we don’t see beauty looking in the rearview mirror- in the car or in our lives.
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Am I a Peacemaker?
So before I started to investigate the scripture, I decided to look up the meaning of “peacemaker” to find out who, if anyone, could identify as one.
One of the websites listed the basic traits of a peacemaker. I found the information very interesting, primarily because I had to take an honest look at my own strengths and weaknesses in each area. I definitely felt a cringe of the “ouch” factor!
Dominant traits: people pleaser, friendly, trusting, easy going
Basic fear: conflict, chaos, separation
Strengths: warm, open-minded, caring, peace-loving
Weaknesses: avoids conflict, stubborn, indecisive, does not like change
The dictionary says this: A peacemaker is a person who brings about peace, especially by reconciling adversaries (a contest, conflict, or a dispute).
Now, what does God say in the Scriptures?
Romans 12:18
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.Hebrews 12:14
Pursue (to continue or proceed along a path or route) peace with all men and sanctification, without which no one will see the Lord.James 3:17
But the wisdom from above is first pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering without hypocrisy.John 14:27
Jesus says He leaves and gives His peace to us not from the world.Matthew 5:9
Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God.
Pastor had Genesis 13: 8-9 in his message about Abram letting Lot take the land that he wanted. This was a great example of a peacemaker.
The bottom line: we are all called to be peacemakers.
Pursuing the peace we desire to have
Doing the work toward developing a peacemaker heart
Cultivating the characteristics of making peace with everyone whenever possible
The most effective peacemakers are the ones who follow our ultimate example: JESUS!
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Control Freak
I’m a control freak.
I am a Type A personality, having to ensure everything is figured out. I need to be the one in the driver’s seat. Having a background in the military and law enforcement; I have my day planned out, I am task driven and I will make decisions… well, decisively!
Because let’s face it: a so-so decision is better than no decision at all… am I right?
Let’s put the brakes on that thought process for just a minute. As we have been talking about peace this month, I couldn’t help but think of the peace I have missed out on in my own life because of my control freak mindset.
It really just boils down to these simple thoughts:
I’m afraid of not having control of my life and my family.
I’m afraid of not having control of my job.
What if something bad happens?
Can I prevent this from happening to my kids?
Somehow, I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this way.
God tells us in John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I seek to control the world around me, but the world around me will not bring peace to my life. As a result of sin in this world, bad things will happen, loved ones will die, my children may make bad decisions as they grow up and the list goes on.
I cannot control any of these things, but what I can control is my thought process, resolve to focus on God’s word and remember His promises. One of these promises being that he will never leave me or forsake me- in good times and in bad.
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